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After a season of explosive moments on The Actual Housewives of Miami — together with a now-infamous water-throwing incident, Julia Lemigova is coming clear concerning the emotional toll actuality TV has taken on her.
In an interview with PEOPLE, the previous mannequin and spouse of tennis legend Martina Navratilova admits that what viewers noticed on display screen was extra than simply drama: it was the breaking level of years of buried trauma.
“It was a cry for assist that performed out on digicam,” she confessed, opening up about her battle with PTSD, unresolved grief, and the guilt she’s carried for many years.
Now, after the RHOM Season 7 reunion pressured her to face herself in a approach she hadn’t earlier than, Lemigova says she’s able to cease operating, and begin therapeutic.
Lemigova stated watching the reunion again wasn’t simple — however it pushed her to mirror. “It was very emotional,” she stated. “Reliving these moments is actually laborious, however it additionally made me assume and self-reflect.”
She added that actuality TV, for all its chaos, really helped her acknowledge what wanted to vary. “The sweetness, as laborious as actuality tv could be, is that it may be a pathway for private progress and self-reflection. And in case you are sincere with your self and together with your viewers, it will probably really be — consider me or not — fairly a therapeutic expertise.”
And this season, therapeutic meant dealing with elements of herself she’d lengthy tried to keep away from. “It helped me to develop as a lady, as a mom, as a spouse,” Lemigova stated, visibly emotional. “I’m nonetheless unpacking rather a lot. I carry loads of guilt about it, and loads of ache. As a result of it may be actually laborious to have a look at your self within the mirror and never just like the particular person you see. However doing that has actually helped me see that I need assistance.”
“There is no such thing as a excuse for throwing issues or screaming,” she stated. “I take full duty and accountability for my conduct, and I’m sorry, once more, to Guerdy.”
She added: “There’s nobody in charge for this however me. What I’ve performed, it didn’t come out of nowhere — I see now that it got here from years of trauma I’ve by no means totally confronted. It bubbled up. I felt cornered emotionally, I snapped. And that’s not okay.”
Lemigova is now talking brazenly concerning the ache she’s saved hidden — together with the devastating lack of her 5-month-old son, Maximilien Stern, who died in 2000 from shaken child syndrome whereas within the care of a nanny employed by her ex, banker Edouard Stern.
“Typically when unhealthy issues occur to you, whether or not in childhood or later in life, it paralyzes you and also you simply wish to run away,” Lemigova stated. “I’ve been the queen of sweeping issues beneath the rug. I’d at all times inform myself, ‘I’ll cope with it tomorrow.’ However I see now, that comes again to chew you in the long run. And I have to work on myself. I wish to do higher — not only for me, however for my household.”
Getting Assist and Discovering Help
For the primary time, Lemigova is actively in search of therapy to cope with her unresolved trauma. “I’m in search of therapy for my PTSD, as a result of I have to lastly cope with issues I’ve buried for years,” she stated. “That is deep work, and I can’t do it alone.”
“I could also be a powerful lady, however I’m not Marvel Lady,” she added. “I’m human.”
She’s not dealing with it alone. Her spouse, Martina Navratilova — with whom she adopted two sons final 12 months — has been by her facet via the highs and lows. “Martina confirmed me loads of grace when navigating this privately,” she stated. “She’s met my honesty and vulnerability with loads of love. I’m so grateful to her.”
Lemigova additionally has two grownup daughters from earlier relationships.
“English isn’t my first language — I communicate 5, and typically my phrases don’t come throughout clearly,” she defined. “So I perceive why lots of people are confused by what I say and the way I act. However I’m making an attempt my greatest. And I’m doing the work to get higher.”
And in the long run, that work is what she hopes will outline her — not her errors.
“What defines us isn’t our errors, it’s how we study from them and transfer ahead,” Lemigova stated. “And that’s the journey I’m on.”
